Of insecurities we usually had

I must say everyone has unlimited quota of insecurities ongoing inside. We get insecure when somebody has just obtained first class degree while we’re still crawling hoping to be like them one day but looking back to the current cgpa dayum hahaha (not me), we get insecure seeing so many beautiful ladies scattered in our Instagram feeds and tell ourselves why are we not like them, some close example I can relate and this sometimes happen to me, is when we have assignment to submit on Monday but on Thursday of the previous week people has started to ask you whether  you’ve completed the assignment yet. Because they have already completed them. *rolling eyes

I don’t like when people keep asking me “farasye dah siap?, not because I did not notice they are trying to be nice to me by showing concern,  but more to like, Guys! Stop asking me that question, I don’t have lots of time like you guys have to complete the assignment that soon! This is all about the insecurity embedded in me and I don’t like it.

But, this actually happen few years back when I was in my first year. I can handle ‘that’ feeling already. You know what I kept telling myself? Before that, we, ourselves need to understand our condition! What have keep us from completing the assignment as soon as our friend? Different people is busied with different kind of thing, apart from assignment, we have another commitment to fulfill, and I believe I’m not alone in this. Even my close friend is someone who gives her everything in the organization she’s in. The pressure is rather intense especially when it involves team work, you know that we’ve divided the task accordingly, so everyone needs to submit their respective part to the person in charge who’s responsible to compile all parts, so we, in this case who’s late to complete the assignment feel guilty to the person in charge, we feel pressured because one, we’re not able to submit on time, and two, we’ve made people waiting for us and that remarks that we’re troubling our friend.

Well, what I kept telling myself is, “farasye, they’re not busy like you. You’re not blessed with a lot of time, but trust God, you’re blessed with something else maybe you did not notice. What matters is you finished you part sincerely, qualitatively (by avoiding plagiarism)”. If we know that we’re going to be the last to submit our part, volunteer to be the responsible person to compile. Another thing to note is, usually when we have to rush to finish the assignment, we cannot think, we do not do the work wholeheartedly, we start to copy and paste from any references we get and that sucks. So, bear in mind, you got time, settle it by providing space for yourself, you can do this, nothing will get in your way.

So the people who initially make we feel insecure is not wrong, they don’t even know that we get insecure with their words. We, need to settle down, use our brain, think rationally, do not let our emotions and egos blind our brain. Of the insecurity I had when I saw many adorable figures on Instagram, I stop following them. Again, they’re not wrong, they just do what they feel they want to do, I in my sense feel that I am easily influenced with whatever they have whatever they wear and that is so gonna make me spend a lot too on things I sometimes don’t need, get insecure of not having what they have. So I get rid of them, I unleash my own talent, I grow up, be mature, stick with my principle, and be great! As of note to myself, I want to be great because I like to feel great not because I want to be looked as great. Do you get me? Hahaha

Whatever it is, be confident with what we have, it’s not wrong to have someone as our inspiration, but hey! Do not force yourself to be 100% like them, because you can’t. You can only be you, maybe a better version of you blended with some inspirations you get from them. So, good luck!

Till then.